The journal of a scatterbrain

3.28pm - All is oalm, all is bright

Back in June 2004, when I was visiting family in Perth, I walked by a road sign stating that Bute Drive, the street I was just leaving, was part of a "Traffic Oalming Scheme". A rather obvious spelling mistake, one would think. Apparently it's quite common. I particularly like the fact that the first two are on local-government websites. My favourite, though, is the one six down: "... talk to the dog with a gertle oalming voice".

O and C are at opposite ends of the keyboard, which is the baffling thing.

Edit: It appears, after digging deeper, that the reason behind the appearance of the majority of the above search results is down to poor optical character recognition software, not the human hand. The same can't be said for the road sign, however.

5.10pm

Rest peacefully, tea, and thank you for sharing your journey of life to its end.

7.35pm - 54 weeks later

Well, if I updated my journal, I'd know how long it took me to finish Diary of a Young Girl We'll go with ten months, I think.

Joshua Ferris' Then We Came to the End is up next.

1.31pm - I was unconscious, half asleep

Well, I'm glad I'm not a pallbearer at that particular funeral.

10.27pm - Swannie on the Beeb!

My old college tutor, John Swannie, minus the beard he sported in the late 90s. He's a class act, regardless.

Links: 1 | 2

8.18pm - It's just a high cost of loving

Day four down of six of being on my tod while Liz is down in Massachusetts co-running the OTA summer camp she founded last year.

Played golf at Highland Green in Topsham yesterday. Situated in a plush retirement community, it's labelled a "Scottish-style course". This I began to doubt when I noticed a "No alcohol beyond this point" sign en route to the first tee. In actuality, it is so-called due to smatterings of heather and thistle in its surroundings.

All patrons of the course must use a golf cart - frustrating for someone like myself who actually enjoys the exercise byproduct of the game - due to the on-average three-and-a-half mile trek between the green and the following tee. The course itself is in pristine condition, though, I must say. It's twenty dollars to play its nine holes is well worth it.

We were treated to several pass-overs from the Navy - a couple of P-3 Orions and six fighter jets flying in two three-prong formations - flying to and from nearby Brunswick Naval Air Station.

* * *
Earlier in the summer, during a jaunt up the coast to Popham, Liz and I stopped in at North Creek Farm after noticing it just off the main drag. I picked up a wedge of Singleton's "Parlick" sheep's-milk cheese. I was surprised to read on its label that it's made in Longridge in good ol' Lancashire. I can say without any bias that it's up there with the best cheeses I've sampled thus far.

3.57pm - Best Comic Sent Packing

Thanks to tarpo for the memory-jog.

From last night's Last Comic Standing:

"I'm going to play you an old song."

He then took out a rock and a stick and proceeded to bang the former with the latter while grunting like a caveman.

Comic genius! And he was sent home!

10.14am - Beaver's winding down

The sixth and final season of Leave It To Beaver begins today on TV Land. The final episode of season five aired on June 30, 1962, and today's episode was shown three months later. I was concerned that if Beaver had developed as he did between seasons four and five, he was likely to have a fully-grown beard and a baritone voice, but as the opening credits below shows, at least the former concern is unfounded.



Ward won't have changed a bit, except maybe for a couple more grey hairs.

9.23pm - Snow in spring

Probably not as much as you had, but it wasn't a bad sight to wake up to.

( Huit... )

7.26pm - Je t'aime

Have I ever mentioned how much I adore messageboards?

Thread title: "What are you thinking about right now?"

Replies: 6,250

5.00pm

I received in the mail today my copy of the newly-released BBC Radio Sessions live compilation by the Bluetones. I had grown a little concerned about its whereabouts, considering I ordered it on January 25^th.

Skipping, on first listen, to the five songs that I know of the total thirteen, I was impressed by their live sound, meaning my monetary gamble has paid off. Mark Morriss' vocal performance is much better than what I've seen on YouTube ("Slight Return" on Jools Holland and a poorly-synched "Bluetonic" on Ray Cokes' Most Wanted). No "After Hours", though, sadly.

"Harking back to our formative years as wannabe tunesmiths, bluffing our way through "the biz", these recordings capture a mix of nervousness and excitement which always accompanied our trips to Maida Vale and BBC Manchester." (liner-notes excerpt)

The package was topped off by a limited-edition (634/1000) signed "Slight Return" lyric sheet by Morriss. He obviously saw the address the CD was being sent to and assumed I'm a native: "Mark, like, totally rules!"

£8.50 (plus £2.80 shipping!) well spent.

12.48pm

8.09pm

Amusing, but I think they have the lies for $2 and $3 the wrong way round.

6.36pm - And the award goes to...

Nothing has pleased me more in recent news than the decision by Parliament to award a casino licence to Manchester instead of my birthtown of Blackpool (BBC News article). Despite its popularity with tourists, the tightwads that are Blackpool Council have always failed to spend money on the upkeep of the town, and I don't see why that would have changed had the decision gone in their favour.

"We are absolutely gutted," says councillor Alan Cavill. "Seven years of work has gone into this bid." And what were you and your cronies doing for the twenty years in the lead-up to the millennium?

Get out and experience the world, Mr. Cavill, and see how your little seaside resort is lagging behind.

4.14am - Celsius

1.

( 2. I hear Sydney's nice this time of year... )

5.34pm - And so pass me my rose-tinted glasses again

Punching in my cousin's new address in Tennessee into MapQuest the other day, I was disheartened to read that, if I was to drive down, I'd be on one particular highway (Interstate 81) for 527 miles. And that's almost exactly half the seventeen-hour journey.

I thought that was bad a journey... until I saw this today.

5.50pm - Portland's 2006 weather stats

Highest temperature: 95°F / 35°C (August 2)
Lowest temperature: 1°F / -17°C (February 27)
Average temperature: 48.5°F / 8.8°C (2.7°F above normal)
Average high temperature: 57.2°F / 14°C (2.1°F above normal)
Average low temperature: 39.7°F / 4.3°C (3.5°F above normal)

Total precipitation: 66.86 inches (21.03 inches above normal)
Most precipitation in 24 hours: 3.57 inches (May 2-3)

Total snowfall: 29.4 inches (37 inches below normal)
Most snow in in 24 hours: 5.5 inches (February 12)
Greatest snow depth on ground: 6 inches (February 13)

Taken from the Maine Sunday Telegram.

2.45pm

The only positive aspect to writing infrequently in your journal is that it doesn't shouldn't take too long to find an old entry, assuming you can provide yourself with a rough estimate as to its date.

I shouldn't be annoyed that the iPod I found in the road two years ago this month (I thought it was only one, so I fail on the assumption above) doesn't seem to be recharging. I recently bought the AV Connection Kit I'd seen my brother using in Australia, with the plan to hook it up to my home surround-sound system. Little did I know I was thinking too far ahead. My inkling that a car ran over it has only increased.

I took it to a repair shop in the Old Port not long ago, and they'll see if it's giving off any readings. If not, I know what I'll be using my $100 Amazon gift card on...

8.38am - I demayand some respect

This morning's World Sport "Play of the Day" should, but won't, go to the female Denver Nuggets fan who held out her hand in hope of receiving a high-five from Allen Iversen after he was ejected for a second technical foul just under two minutes from the end of the Nuggets' loss to Philadelphia, Iversen's former team, last night. Instead, he kept on walking straight through her outstretched arm.

"I don't get why he was so rude," she's probably saying to her understanding husband.

5.25pm - A thought from yesterday

Instead of his being put to death, Saddam should be made to read the weekly winning lottery numbers around the world, on TV, wearing nothing but a pair of Y-fronts.

Discuss.